I could write a book, as I am sure most teachers can. I seriously hear the most, funny, gross, tmi (too much information) stuff. I always think that I should write these things down but then one kids hits another or a kid pukes all over his desk and I get busy dealing with other funny, gross, tmi stuff and never get around to writing it all down.
Here are a few of the ones I remember. (Names changed to protect the innocent/guilty)
FUNNY – Last week we learned about synonyms (words that mean almost the same thing). For the rest of the week my students struggled with “cinnamons” “Mrs. Thurell, what would a cinnamon be for this word?” Mrs. Thurell, what is a cinnamon?” MAN! Anybody have a cinnamon roll handy, I sure seem to be craving them now!
GROSS – Johnny, when we get into class you need to go blow your nose. (I will let you use your imagination as to how I knew he needed a tissue)
I don’t know how many times I have a student come wiggle their tooth for me. You may not find that gross, but I have a weird phobia for loose teeth. When Tim and I have kids, he will have to be the one to deal with those wiggly little suckers. The worst is when the tooth is dangling by one little piece of pink gum tissue! YUCK!!!!
TMI – “Dear Mrs. Thurell, my most precious and wonderful student Johnny has been constipated since Sunday. The doctor gave him medicine but it didn’t work. He is now on a new stool softener, please let him go to the bathroom whenever he needs to so that he won’t have an accident.” Best part – it was Stanford 10 testing that day! Great.
How about this one; this is from my storyteller. She can stand and talk my ear off all day if I let her, too bad she can’t transfer all that detail to her writing. Anyway, “Mrs. Thurell, I went to the doctor yesterday and I have a urinary Tract Infection. I have to take a little green and blue pill three times a day.” (pause for effect [she does that]) “And….” I say. “Well,” she responds, “when do I take them?” WHAT! Did she seriously just ask me to tell her when to take her meds?!? “I don’t know, I didn’t go to the doctor with you, you have to ask you mom”
Ahhhhh, the life of second graders.
